Knowing Me, Knowing You

From the title some of you might have figured out I am a fan of ABBA.  But that’s not what this post is about, it just sounded like a catchy title for my discussion about blogging.  So I have only started blogging for less than a month now, and already I haven’t been blogging daily like I said I would (see 30 Day Challenge).  One of the reasons for my hesitation is that I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to put my thoughts “out there”.  I almost considered putting a link from my personal facebook to this blog so that I could share this with my friends, but decided against it.  I’m not ready, not yet, or not sure if I’ll ever be.

I wanted to post yesterday but I got into this silly habit of mine that I do sometimes called OVERTHINKING.  Is this a mid-life crisis?  Will this be used in court against me someday (as a teacher, trust me, you DO worry about that one).  If my friends start reading this will I have to start TALKING about it with them in person?  Will this someday hurt my relationship with my hubby and kids?  Oh yeah, there were about fifty more overthoughts (is that even a word?) but then today I read this post from lauriewrites.  It was like she was reading my mind.

In one sense I look forward to the day when I get my first REAL comment from a reader.  I even think of what it would be like if this blog were a “success”.  I don’t really know what a success for my blog would look like but it’s a dream.  Maybe having 100 followers?  Does this show my naivety with the blogosphere?  Oh well.  YET…I’m terrified of that first comment.  Someone might actually like me and have similar feelings about things I write which seems so powerful and overwhelming but wonderful too.  I don’t know.  Then I see how a comment thread from someone’s post gets negative comments, or worse yet, starts going in a totally different direction.  An example of this happening was when I read about how a writer was kinda rooting for the Japan Women’s soccer team because their country could use some positivity.  It was a very touching post to me, until I read the comments and not only did people get negative, but talk about how natural disasters were karma and such. Oh my goodness, really people?  Unnecessary ugliness, and the whole positive feeling of the article was then disintegrated.

So yeah, I’m gonna keep on writing and worrying, because that’s what I do, but I’m finding that writing to you, cyberspace friends, is helping me with a period in my life when I am feeling reflective.  No I am not becoming a mirror, just looking at ways to find meaning outside of being a mom, a wife, and a teacher.  Those all have a lot of meaning but I am finding out this blog is becoming something else that is providing meaning for me (I know, really cheesebally, huh?)  So I didn’t work on a blog post yesterday but I did finish the About page.  I think you might get to know me better and I’d like to get to know you too.  Feel free to comment, but be nice or I might have to thunk ya!

Two websites that can help you be really, really, secret but put your thoughts out in cyberspace are PostSecret and Penzu.  To quote the website ” PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously”.  It is a powerful website to view and to post if you need that catharsis (no, I haven’t sent one yet).  Penzu is an online diary that is NOT viewed by anyone on the web.  It’s basically an online diary that only you can unlock and view.  I do have a  free Penzu account and in this account I can write everything and anything, and believe me I do.  That is not something I want viewed by others. I would also like to add that neither Postsecret or Penzu paid me for these endorsements.  Hee, hee. I can’t believe I just wrote that.

So dear readers of zero so far, my question to you is this: What do you think about having a blog that is somewhat secret or with an alias?  Do you have one?  What are the things you would want to share on the internet?

p.s. For the record I love my country but I did cry for Japan when they won.  Good job to both teams. 🙂

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