Why I HATE (Dislike) Valentine’s Day

Anti-Valentine's Day notecards from CafePress

Once again it is almost February and I can hardly wait until Feb 15th to breathe a sigh of relief.  I know that many of you might think I don’t like the holiday because I’m lonely or my husband doesn’t appreciate me.  On the contrary, I’ve been married for 17 years to the same man and most of them have been happy.  I think he’s still very handsome and he is still attracted to me (mind- blown!).  He even remembers my birthday, our anniversary, and the first date that we had.

So why the hate dislike for V-day, huh BGM?  Well I hate, sorry eh-hem, dislike, the whole production just like it happens with other holidays because the true meaning gets lost in all the other STUFF.  The real historical reason why we celebrate this holiday is actually pretty awesome. According to legend or History.com, in Roman times some emperor came up with the idea that soldiers should not be allowed to get married thinking that would make them p*ssed off better warriors. A priest named Valentine did not agree with the law so he married lovers in secret.  Of course he got caught and while in prison, he also fell in love with a girl and sent her letters which he signed “From your Valentine”. The day in February is suppose to commemorate the day he was executed for his crime. Pretty tragic and romantic huh?  Yeah, it’s sounds like a good idea to have a day to celebrate L-O-V-E and yet…

1. Valentine’s Day is a lot of PRESSURE – I don’t know in other countries but people here in the U.S. put some awful stress on what they HAVE to do on that day. Some restaurants in my area have a special V-day menu where the appetizers, dinner, and dessert are all included in one price.  Of course, the menu is the same for every other couple who is there that night and you are paying twice as much to be at a restaurant that is packed full of other couples.  Does not sound romantic or fun to me.

2. The idea of gifts is ridiculous.  Since when do you have to take out a second mortgage to show your love for someone?  One year Marathon Man gave me one of those Tiffany’s silver floating heart pendant.  Yeah, I wanted it and I liked it.

I'm not going to lie, I really love this necklace.

But I felt a little guilty I guess because he really loves me every other day and it felt kinda silly having to spend money to show his love for me.  I like getting regular flowers any other time, but Marathon Man knows better to never, ever, buy overpriced roses in February for me.  Spending a lot of money does not prove your love to me, which brings me to the third reason.

3. Valentine’s Day is a sexist holiday.  I know some of you are going to get angry at this statement but hear me out. According to the information from History.com 1 billion V-Day cards are purchased each year with 85 percent of those being bought by women.  Why no men?  I’ll tell you why, because it is the expectation that a man has to GET YOU MORE THAN A CARD.  Women do not usually go out and buy men jewelry, or flowers, or spend money on a nice restaurant.  It is that expectation that a man must do more than the woman that really makes me hate dislike this holiday.  It feels sexist.  As a mom of two young men I will explain to them that when they are in a committed relationship a long, long time from now someday, that they should be romantic, and do something on Valentine’s Day.  But I also hope they don’t wind up with a woman who EXPECTS extravagant gifts while they just go out and buy a card.  Where is the equality in that?  I also hate dislike when my female friends ask after V-Day, “So what did you guys do?”  It feels like a competition of  who has the better boyfriend, husband, whatever.  Blech. No thanks.

4. It makes single people feel sad.  A lot of other holidays can make you feel lonely, but this particular holiday can mess with your mind about being alone, not good enough for anyone else, never getting married.  Oh geez, haven’t we got enough problems already dealing with stuff like this?

Not looking at each other and barely talking - Oh, puppy love. Blech!

5. Finally, as a middle school teacher the holiday is ridiculous, especially with 6th graders.  They are still so young, but seeing the older 7th and 8th graders with their boy/girlfriends some start having “feelings” for the opposite sex (some don’t and that’s another issue we middle school teachers see too…sigh). They start to do weird things.   They are new to this thing called love so they pass notes, they tell their friends to tell the friends of the boy/ girl that they like them, they BARELY hold hands, or just stand next to each other, they start talking and giggling a lot in class.  By Spring Break some of them are full blown hormonal.  Also, you see the ones who get left out.  The ones who do usually get the attention are the obnoxious, arrogant, troublemaker boys who make the girls laugh and don’t pay attention in class. The nice, quiet boys are too shy still.  It goes the other way too with the quiet, smart girls not getting the attention but rather the flirty girls who flip their hair and write little hearts on their assignments, in PINK pen no less, and could be smart but would rather act dumb in class.  Most teachers know those quiet wallflowers of boys and girls are the ones who are going to shine someday.  It might not happen in high school, but when they move on to college and some of their friends barely pass high school, they are going to meet someone who’s smart, mindful, and responsible, hopefully. At least that’s what happened to this Big Green Meanie wallflower.  And it still seems to be going pretty good. 🙂

So yeah,  I never cared much for this holiday and thought it was stupid, sexist and pretentious.  But then I’m with someone that makes me feel loved everyday besides one day in February.

What are your thoughts on Valentines day?  Am I being to harsh?

flickr image from jdhancock

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One Response to Why I HATE (Dislike) Valentine’s Day

  1. Pingback: Can’t Wait Until February 15th! | Big Green Meanie

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